Lately, I have been a bit obsessed with self-improvement and have really been trying to tap into a need to do “more”. Now when I say “more” I do not simply mean I want to be busy. Being busy does not make for a more fulfilled life. On the contrary, being busy can shave years off of your life and ebb away at your happiness. Many are so busy being “busy” that they are truly not living a good life. A “good” life can mean many different things to many people. A good life to me means taking care of myself, my family and my community. It means we are all comfortable and there are no great emotional or financial needs looming over anyone. What a utopic thought? Yup, I know but it is my desire.
This intangible”more” which I desire is now just a mere thought that I wake with and go to bed with at night. At 40, it is probably a more common occurrence amongst my peers than most would like to admit. My angst lies in what I should do with this desire and what my outlet should be in order to accomplish some of these desires or goals that I sleep with at night. These thoughts and desires have become my companion and consort. I no longer want the material things I used to desire. There aren’t many items in-store that can make me happy or fill a void anymore. My 40-year-old self, my mid-life self no longer finds comfort in a badass pair of shoes or a fly outfit. I want more.
However, in all of my thoughts, I do not forget that I am…
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