Quarantine had your girl really in the “safe at home” mindset. I had no desire to leave my little safe heaven and months later, I still don’t. I guess that’s the beauty of loving the space that you are in. You don’t mind being there all the time. Me, like most of us, shopped less and ate more over the quarantine months. I only shopped for essentials like cleaning stuff and food for months but eventually the IG ads for the cutest dresses on Nastygal.com caught my eye. The prices were even more enticing and I had to place an order.
(There is really nothing like waking up early on the weekend before the neighbors begins to move about. The only people you see outside are the early morning dog walkers. Granted, I only enjoy easy strolls when the weather is warm. The moment we feel a chill in the air, my only motive is to run as fast as I can to the subway or the car.)
Am I disappointed in my Nastygal dress purchases? Not at all! The quality is fantastic for the price and the selection is vast. I did not have high expectations but they exceeded them fully. (Im not an online clothes buyer because I can’t stand returning products.) I see more dresses in future for sure because of the choices and prices on Nastygal.
If you don’t ask, you don’t get. This is a simple yet truthful phrase. Many times we function as though other people know what we are thinking and feeling or we believe that they SHOULD know simply because we are in proximity to each other. We can apply this to friendships, relationships and family. The truth is people do not foten know what we want until we say something or ask. It can be difficult for many of us to ask for what we want because of our own hang ups but it’s important to understand what limits us in our thinking in order to be free enough to ask for what we want and deserve.
5 Ways to Ask Intelligently and Specifically
Ask for what you want using specific words and language. Your ask should be purposeful and should be intended to change your world and the world around you. If you are having trouble figuring out what you want then it is important for you to get out into the world and live, observe others and figure out what you want and don’t want your life to look like. Gravitate towards the things that makes your soul sing and then pursue that life.
Don’t expect to get something from someone when you are not willing to give anything back. In life, reciprocity is important for growth. You give to get and vice versa.
Create Value. Need I say more? If you are easily replaceable then do more in order to make sure that your knowledge and skill level top notch. Become an expert in your field.
Ask with certainty and conviction.
Please always remember that there is no expiration date on pursuing the things that you desire, no matter your age or circumstance. Every single day you wake up and open your eyes you are granted a new day . You can try again, start new or simply make a small change to help improve your overall life. Ask for what you want, believe that you can have it and make a small change or action daily to help get you to your goal.
Ask an expert or someone with the results that you desire. Who is your mentor, expert or someone you look to for reliable answers?
Do you suffer from the Winter Blues? Yeah, it’s a real thing. This is not a post for those of you who love the brisk Winter breeze or the snow. This is dedicated to the ones who miss basking in the sun and long for the feeling of waking out of the house without a coat.
What can you do to capture the feeling of Summer when you are stuck in the Winter weather?
For me, I love to crank up the heat in my home and make my own oasis. Slide the curtains back in the daytime and let the sun in while the heat is on 80 degrees. The feel of the sun and warmth brings me right back to Summer.
Sit in front of a window and bask in the sun for a while and sip some fruit infused water.
Work out while the sun is out and the heat is on. You’re doing your body good, your mind good and also working on that Summer body. Summer bodies are made in the Wintertime.
Tell me, what do you do when you have the Summer Blues?
The New Year can invoke many different emotions in us based on where we are emotionally, physically and psychologically. 2020 has been one hell of a year and many of us have experienced loss in more ways than one. Many have lost those they love. We’ve experienced loss of freedom to move and go about like we normally do. Many may have also gained from this year. Hopefully we’ve all walked away with a sense that change can happen in an instant and how we respond to change determines our very survival.
With all of that being said, the start of the year is a perfect time to set your intentions for all of the good that you deserve and desire in the coming year. Here are some ways to organize and create your intentions. I know we all love the computer and the magic of technology but there is something about writing intentions down with pen and paper that makes the magic happen.
Intentions Setting Method– Avoid the use of the phrase “I want” when setting intentions or when speaking affirmations. The word “want” invokes a feeling of need and we are not moving in a needy direction. Strive to use the phrase “I am” instead.
I am starting——-
I am sharing——-
I am quitting——–
I am continuing——
I am going to be—–
I am learning——-
Set intentions in areas of your life where there is room for improvement. Categorize it. Set two or more intentions in areas such as: Family, Health/Wellness, Career, School/Education, Personal, and Spiritual.
I spend more than 1 hour a day connecting to and being present with those I love.
We eat dinner together five days a week
We have game night weekly
We have Sunday devotions weekly
Now that you have a starting point, sit down, grab your journal and start setting your own intentions.
Are you a “wake up as soon as the alarm sounds” or “snooze city” morning person? Me, I’d love to be the jump out of the bed with a mission to take over the world type but I enjoy tapping the snooze button at least twice before rising. To be clear, I don’t fall back asleep after the alarm goes off. I use the snooze time to lay with my eyes close in a type of silent mediation and think about how I would like my day to go because I want everyday to be my day. Thinking about all of the wonderful possibilities that are ahead of me helps to frame my focus for the day.
We all need ways to save time and effort in the a.m. so that we can focus on conquering the day ahead. Here are 10 time saving hacks that if adapted daily can become daily habits to help improve your productivity.
(You may remember some of these from grade school because our moms lived by many of these shortcuts.)
Pack your work bag the night before. Don’t forget to pack important projects that you may be working on at home in the bag the night before so that you don’t forget it the day of.
Pack you gym bag (clothes, sneakers and towels) along with any after gym snacks and water. Schedule your workout time into your day the night before to ensure that you will take the time to take care of you.
Remember the night before the first day of school? What did you do with your brand new fly outfit the night before school? Laid it out on a chair or on a hanger of course. Well, do the same now. Except now you are laying out your adult work clothes so make sure you’re fly but appropriate for the office.
Prep breakfast and pack a lunch the night before. This helps to keep your healthy eating on track and you save money on expensive lunches. Save your food money for those expensive weekend brunches.
Leave any and anything you fear you will forget in the morning right by your door. Keep your keys, wallet and phone by the door on a tray as well that way all three items are together and can be easily retrieved before leaving the house in the morning.
Wrap your hair with a scarf or a bonnet. You know why so I don’t have to get into it.
Set the tone for the morning. I love listening to morning motivation from some of my favorite speakers or I play some frequency music. I’m always working on vibrating higher.
If you live with people that you love, don’t forget to check your mood and make sure that it adds goodness to their day. Do a mood check and if your mood is crappy make sure you aren’t adding that crappy mood to those you love.
Refer back to number 7 if your mood is crappy. Have a goal of chasing joy. We won’t be happy everyday but if you are struggling, find something to be grateful for.
What is your vision? How do you know what it is that you want your life to look like and and how did you get to that vision? It can be difficult to formulate a vision of you don’t have enough exposure to all that life has to offer. It is most crucial to put yourself in spaces that you are not normally ever in and speak to people that help you grow. If you can’t physically get to people and places, open a book. A book is the easiest way to delve deep knit different thoughts, places and people.
This article is called the “H” Game because it is pertinent to Honor your vision. Once you grasp that vision it is your job to honor it. You must be true to your vision to see it become a reality and vision comes to a reality when discipline is practiced on a daily basis. Discipline creates good habits. The “H” Game involves creating good, daily Habits. Set your intentions daily and strive for mastery in all that you do. Do everything with Heart. Put love into all that you do and be open to receiving love in return. Don’t lose your Hunger. You must think you deserve all that you desire in your mind and believe it. Next, have Humility. Stay humble. Finally, Hustle. Like Dr. Maya Angelou said, “Nothing works unless you do.”
We can all agree that these have been trying times. It can feel beyond hopeful right now. Imagine, just over eight years ago we had “hope” and we felt hopeful. Today, well, we are going day by day. We are feeling overwhelmed with fears about the pandemic, overt racism, dirty politics, dirtier politicians, global warming, and the list goes on. So how do we focus on persevering and flourishing during this time? How do we stay aware and participate in what we believe in without depleting our mental and physical energy?
Here’s What I’m Doing:
Drinking water and eating Whole Foods. Taking care of my body by taking in the very best foods possible. 2. Exercise. My exercise not always rigorous but I make movement a part of my daily routine. I move my body and increase your heart rate for 20 minutes or more per day. 3. Simplified my routines (beauty, self care, exercise, cleaning, home life, wardrobe). Pear it all down! I found that the more I made my surroundings simplified, the more I saw that I had much of the things that I already needed. I didn’t need to buy new clothes or home decor because I had the stuff. It was just hiding under all of the excessive stuff I already owned but also wasn’t using. I used all of my beauty products before buying new ones. This was a hard one for me.
What is the vision that you have for your life? Do you have a vision for what you want your life to truly look like? Have you thought about it? When you think about your goals, dreams, vision, do you shrug it off and tell yourself that the vision you have for yourself is impossible or do you trust the vision and go after what you want? I know, I’ve bombarded you with questions and some pretty tough ones at that. Truth be told, many of us are living in perpetual fear of some of the big things, or big visions that find themselves into our minds because we have been conditioned to believe that we cannot do or accomplish the big things. The “big things” are reserved for the people who don’t look like me or who are smarter than me or more talented than me. These are the types of things we tell ourselves to talk ourselves out of pursuing the vision.
The first step in learning how to pursue your vision is to feed your faith, not your fear. Fear can be a good thing. It keeps us from danger. We needed much fear to survive as cavemen, because danger lurked around every corner. Today, we can put much of that fear at rest. It’s like the extra hair, we don’t need it anymore. Begin to rely on faith.
The second step is to see yourself with all the good that you desire. Go ahead, picture yourself in the business, the position at work, the car or the house. When you are going through your day create a vision in your mind -as you do your chores, as you work, as you drive- of the life you desire. Paint a mental picture and place yourself front and center.
The third step is to make it plain. Write about the things you desire, speak them, talk about your vision with passion and then place yourself in the environments–as much as you can- that feeds your vision. Whatever you see, you can have. Clarify your vision, take it from the mental plane to the physical plane. Take it from your head and put yourself in the picture physically by placing yourself in the environment that feeds the vision.
When your vision is clear, you are able to get into alignment. The clearer the vision, the more you can accelerate your goal. This is life and life does not come without obstacles. Your vision will be tested and this is why faith is the first step. You must have faith in yourself and in your own vision. Keep your vision in mind and it will help you overcome the obstacles. Your vision will create your discipline. It will drive you. The vision tells you which books to read, which program to study, what you can and cannot eat, what time you should go to bed, what time you should wake in the morning. Your vision creates a guide for you and the right people will appear at the right time to help accelerate the goal.
Synopsis: Have a vision (See It) – Put it into action- God will send the people to help you execute the vision or goal.
The reality is that all things are possible but your mind can work to tell you differently. Self limiting thoughts is one of the main difficulties that keeps us from advancing personally and professionally in life. The reality is that we are conditioned to think thoughts of good or thoughts that serve to limit us. “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz delves into our prior conditioning and gives us 4 “Agreements” that can be applied to our everyday lives in order to break this societal conditioning that leads to self-limiting thoughts.
”The Four Agreements” are outlined in the text as:
Be impeccable with your word: Be a person of integrity, speak with integrity. Avoid gossip and the act of gossiping about others. The words are useless and does not breed any good intent. Your words are powerful and use your words to speak powerfully over your life and others.
Don’t take anything personally: Master the before that nothing others do is because of you. The actions and words of other people are a reflection of their own reality, their inner selves, not you. Become immune to the opinions and actions of other people and watch your life turn in a direction that serves you, your dreams and goals.
Don’t make assumptions: Communication is key in order to avoid misunderstandings. Do not be afraid to ask questions, ask for what you need, ask for clarifications in order to avoid misunderstandings. Much of the chaos that exists in our lives is a direct result of miscommunication which leads to misunderstandings.
Always do your best: You are an individual and life isn’t always perfect and not always aligned to go how we want it to go therefore our “best” may change from time to time depending on life events. No matter what is happening, try to be your best and do your best. You owe it to yourself and others.
I know, at face value, these agreements that you make with yourself all seem very simple and you may be very familiar with each of these agreements in isolation already BUT how much are they really practiced in your everyday life? The truth is, we are fearfully and wonderfully made. We are all made with a purpose. It is important to pay attention to what you are saying to yourself. Speak about yourself with favor and eat the fruits of your words.
Surround yourself with the images that brings joy and abundance into your life. The reality is that you cannot do what you cannot see. Go out of your comfort zone, if you must, in order to SEE the things that you desire and work until it is no longer a desire but a reality.
There is nothing better than a Sunday afternoon stroll and if you get to stroll through nature, then the Sunday stroll gets even better. The warm weather invites cool clothing as well as the desire to get outdoors. This dress made me feel amazingly free and not restricted. I normally live in blue jeans but sometimes the buttons squeeze too tightly or the thighs feel too tight but none of this happens in this dress.
Getting in touch with nature before the start of the week is a great way to reset. Weekdays for many of us can be a combination of work, chaos, schedules, meetings and juggling multiple responsibilities and tasks but getting a jump on mentally centering yourself on a Sunday can help to remedy some of the potential chaos.
On Sunday, take time to think. Take time to breath and reflect on all of the growth and stillness of nature. Find tranquility that you can take with you into the week ahead.
How do you ready yourself mentally for the work week?