You Are What You Think.

I have had the pleasure of having a few days where I’ve been less hectic (not working constantly, running from place to place) and as a result, I chose to listen to a few podcasts or pick up some self-help books. I never thought that I would be that person who would like to listen to self help programs, like Supersoul Sundays on OWN, or read books on the topic but alas.

I mentioned OWN and Supersoul Sundays because yes, I too love Oprah and all that she does. There are some great people who she sits down with and impart some great life lessons during the interviews. Most of the people interviewed have written books where you can get even more information that you can choose to apply to your lifestyle.

While traveling to Washington DC last week I chose to pick up Malcolm Gladwell’s book, “Outliers” again. What a freaking good read!!! If you are a parent then you must read this book. It does not outline any parenting strategies or tell you anything about child rearing but Malcolm’s take on “genius” and “success” will have your gears turning about how you may choose to educate your child. As a part of a group of parents who are always networking and sharing information about the best schools and the best programs (some parents are devastated if their child does not get into the best of anything), Malcolm teaches that essentially it may be best to be the big fish in a small pond instead of being the little fish in a big pond. Also, the “best” people may come out of those “not so best” places. Make no bones about it though, the Ivy Leagues are still pumping out the leaders of the Free World but your City College also churns out the best of the best.

Finally, my husband picked up a Christian book (if you knew him then you would be shocked) titled, “You are What You Think” by David Stoop, Ph.D. What a title, right? Raise your hand if you really do believe that the mind is a powerful thing. I do believe in the power of positive and negative thinking. We manifest what we think. Plain and simple. If you think negative thoughts then life often dishes negativity. People at work still (after many years) say to me daily, “You are always smiling.” I smile even if I’m not always feeling 100% happy or 100% well because smiling makes me happy and I automatically feel better. Smiling makes me happy so I smile. Notable Quote: “The one thing, from a human perspective, that seems to make the difference between those who succeed and those who fail is attitude.”

What’s been inspiring you lately?

February 26, 2016 0

My Braid Crush

Winter is the season for Protective Styles and there are a few ladies who we have been slaying braided styles lately. Braids don’t just serve as a great way to protect your natural hair from everyday wear and tear but it is also a fun way to switch things up. I’m not a fan of sitting the length of time for styles like micro-braids to get installed, upwards of 4 to 6 hours, so I’m more of a cornrow type of girl. In less than 30 minutes or an hour you are transformed into a braided goddess. I’m always down for that.

These are some of my favorite styles spotted on our favorite celebs:

Megan Goode completely rocked the heck out of these faux locs. I know, they aren’t braids but they count in my book.

gabunionbraids — Gabrielle, oh how I love thee and these micro braids. She is a better woman than me because my patience is not set up in a manner that allows for me to elver wear this style.

JanelleMonet — Classic plaits on a classic woman. Janelle Monet looks great.

Yes, I’m adding Kim’s cornrows! We all know about these straightbacks. It is the Black woman’s go to for giving birth, after giving birth, vacation, or just a great Summer style. Someone put Kim onto the low maintenance greatness of the cornrow.

brandy — Brandy has been serving red hot braided styles since Moesha. We can always depend on her for some great looks.

Amandla is new to me. She’s young and fearless with her hair and I love that. Here she wears the root braided and the rest of the hair loose. The choice of grey hair is very today.

Zoe’s braids have almost become a staple style for her. She is inspired by her mother’s style and I’m here for it.

YAra — Blackish’s Yara did a braid combo. Loving the idea of braiding the single strand micro braids into a fishtail style.

keke — Keke Palmer is the queen of switching things up. She goes from short to long and from weaves to braids. Love these funky twists.

We can’t possibly leave out these ole long skinny cornrows worn by Beyonce in “Formation”. Giving Susan Taylor realness.

Are you wearing a braided style? What type of style are you rocking and why?

February 21, 2016 0

Fashion Week Wrap-Up:Favorite Looks.

Fashion week was in full swing in NYC and the designers did not disappoint. The looks for Winter/Autumn 2016/17 were rich with deep plums, velvet and always the staple, black. Speaking of “Black”, there was a cry for more diversity on the runways recently and Bethann Hardison worked alongside Zac Posen in order to deliver what the people asked for. His models ranged in all hues of Black and were gracefully dressed in shades of plums and wines. The show was amazing. When we speak of diversity, don’t just look at Black and White but also think of body types and age. There were plus sized models (well just regular size in the world that we live in) and models who were over 30 in some shows this year as well. I think the direction that many designers are going in is just fantastic and all women should be celebrated. We are strong and resilient and all different and that is what makes us all so fabulous.

My Favorite Looks from the 2016/17 Runway:

JCrew (always young, fresh and clean).

Marc Jacobs (Finger Waves and Goth)

Clover Canyon (Cool Chic)

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Cynthia Rowley (Pretty Pieces)

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Zac Posen (Showstopping! Strong and Elegant)

Which designer pieces were your favorite?

Photos: http://www.vogue.co.uk/fashion/autumn-winter-2016/ready-to-wear

February 19, 2016 4

What is Your Addiction?

When I use the term “addiction”, I am not using it in the traditional sense of the word. I am not referring to a drug or alcohol addiction. Those addictions are very much in your face and society knows the ills of those addictions. We have centers and rehab clinics for those addictions. We have a societal understanding of them. The addictions that I am referring to are addictions that can also destroy hopes and dreams but are not really recognized and admonished by society. They are:

The Addiction to the Opinion of Others.

The Addiction to the Past.

The Addiction to Worry.

The Addiction to Drama.

Do these addictions sound familiar? If they do then fear not. They are familiar to most of us. It is what makes us human but please believe that we cannot hold on to these addictions if you plan to move on and be a fluid (constantly changing) person.

The first step in conquering these addictions is being honest with yourself and really own up to the addiction. Which is the addiction that sets you back the most? Meaning, which one of these addictions is causing you to be stagnant and not make the progress that you want to make in relationships, career and health? I’ll own up to being addicted to the past and in a deep relationship with the addiction to worry. I’m working on releasing them both. I am always telling myself that things work themselves out and Kendrick reminds me that, “we gon be alright.” The past, well, I want to leave it all right there; In the past. I don’t want to constantly dredge up old stuff in my relationship. We are getting older and I want to enjoy the relationship that I am in and stay in the moment. The older I get the more I realize that the moments are fleeting. I want a life that belongs to the ages.

brownskin — Because I am always chasing the sun and I see it as a good addiction. I’m also addicted to her and him.

February 17, 2016 0

She Don’t Need the Possessive “S” to Slay.

“I like my baby hair, with baby hair and afros.”

“I like my Negro nose with Jackson Five nostrils.”

Those are probably the most decadent and provacative lyrics from Beyonce’s, “Formation”. Why? Because she was not only speaking to the masses and letting you know that Black is Beautiful but directly to Black Folk who make frequent comments on her baby’s hair texture and style and the size of her lover’s nostrils. The people who comment the most about Blue and Jay Z are people who look like Blue and Jay Z. We are the most offended by our hair texture and nose size.

We have been taught to hate our Blackness subliminally by the media and at times, within our own familial structures. There is a standard of Eurocentric Beauty that is upheld not just in our society but worldwide. There is an understanding that lighter skin, a narrow nose and fine features are what is considered beautiful. And the complicated topic of hair! Where do you begin with this tumultuous topic? There is a natural hair “movement” happening where Black women are embracing and wearing our hair the way it grows from our scalp. Doesn’t sound like a big deal, right? Oh, but it is. Hair has also been defined as a standard of beauty and straight hair has been a mode for upward social mobility within the Black Community. As a mater of survival, we have had to cover our scalps with toxic lye in order to take out the kinks that reminds us and the greater society of our Blackness. I can comfortably say that there is a huge change in the way society and our own communities have embraced our distinct kinks and curls.

But let us hone in on Beyonce’s visuals for a minute. Not her video but her. Her skin is a light shade of brown and hair is dyed blonde. She is a great performer, hard worker and is wildly successful. She might have contemporaries in her field who may be just as hard working and brilliant performers but may never achieve worldwide success because they may be a darker shade of Black but that visual has not been praised as brilliant and beautiful.

Beyonce is the epitome of what society upholds as beautiful but she wanted to remind y’all what she finds beautiful. She like her baby’s hair with baby hair and an afro. She likes her Negro’s nose with wide, Jackson Five nostrils. Those visuals are not what society considers beautiful but she covets it. With her influence, she is looking to debunk the myth of the American Beauty.

Don’t get too lost in all of the other lyrics that may not have too much of a political message. It is, after all, Beyonce. She is a Popstar not a Politician, not a Social Activist. She is a Black Woman who has experienced an amount of privilege because of her light skin and dyed blonde hair but she just wants to remind you to not let her “visuals’ fool you. She has that privilege today and she would have had it if she were alive 100 years ago in the American South. The visuals are to remind you that she is aware and she’s woke.

Hop on over to www.beyonce.com and watch if you haven’t seen the video already. While you are at it you can order a sweatshirt or a bag with a witty saying.

February 8, 2016 0

Discipline and Perseverance: The Body Book

Is anyone else reading, “The Body Book” by Cameron Diaz with Sandra Bark? My husband gifted it to me for Christmas and I have yet to sit and read it cover to cover. I must admit that I don’t really read self help books like this one straight through. I like to read it chapter by chapter, take a break and absorb the stuff that I’ve read. I require absorption time. Thinking time if you will. Wait…hold on. I’ll be right back. I have to pick up the hubby from the train. I’ll be back.

Ok, I’m back. Where was I? right, my need for thinking time. Well, think about it. You are reading a book that is supposed to help you change your life! There are thoughts that requires more thinking about than lets say, the downfall of a fictional character who slays zombies for a living. yes, take the time. Use it to really figure out how the chapters in the book relate to you. This book introduces us to Cameron Diaz’s beliefs about nutrition, physical strength and mental clarity/strength. I’ve eased through the chapters on nutrition and wasn’t really introduced to many new concepts. There were some but now many. The moral of the story is to eat whole foods, but you know that. Work out! How many times can we be told before we get off the darn couch and move? Cameron moves. Do you? I don’t move nearly as ,much as I should. I want to but I don’t. It’s a bad habit. It’s laziness and it’s also related to a lack of discipline. Now don’t get it twisted. I don’t lack discipline in all areas of my life. I am a great mom and my work ethics are through the roof. My discipline in regards to working out? Crap.

I am not alone. I know there are millions of women who are like me. There are also millions of women who slay in the department of self care. They are mindful of their bodies. They work to make it strong. They work to make it sexy. They work to make it comfortable for themselves. Chapter 37 of this book is titled, “Nothing’s For Free” and I was struck by the short but blunt chapter. This entire book could just be this one chapter. I made my 11-year-old daughter read a portion of the chapter because there is a paragraph on “discipline and accountability” that every person needs to hear, hear again and live by.

She wrote, “knowledge that whatever job I needed to do, I was the one responsible for the result-Discipline and accountability were instilled in me from a young age, and I rely on that foundation everyday. Discipline was my mother waking me up every morning to make breakfast and making sure that I did the dishes and cleaned up after myself when I was done. It was my father teaching me to be accountable for everyday chores around the house. It was both my parents instilling in me the knowledge that whatever job I needed to do, I was the one responsible for the result-no one else.” Now, this might have very well struck me because I am raising a daughter in the same light. I was raised with discipline. The question for me is, How do I harness this discipline in order to practice better self care. That is also the type of discipline I would like to also pass along to my daughter. I’m an Ace at taking care of everyone else and everyday responsibilities but what good is all that if I’m not taking care of myself.

Check out this Marie Claire link for more bits from the book.

February 6, 2016 0

Goodbye Straight. Hello Curly.

Don’t call it a comeback, curly hair has been here for years. Yup, I just did a play on words for one of my favorite rap songs of all time. If you don’t know, now you know. I can keep going. LOL. But really, if you are looking to add some oomph and volume to fine, straight hair, look no further than a Marcel Curling Iron and Sexy Hair styling spray. Our Fab Stylist,Brendan Dowling, armed himself with the proper tools to give Lauren the “go to” look for the season. Take a peek at the step by step below in order to create your own curls.

lauren201601_jr0002 — Lauren before her curls.

lauren201601_jr0051 — Brendan chooses to use “Sexy Hair” styling spray in order to get the desired volume and hold necessary for wearing curls.

lauren201601_jr0031 — First, you spray a light layer of volume spray onto the hair, making sure to focus on one small section at a time.

lauren201601_jr0026 — Next, you use your iron to create the soft Shirley Temple curls Remember getting those wen you were a little girl? But nope. These won’t stay Shirley nor Temple.

lauren201601_jr0049 — Finally, after you have curled all sections of the hair you spray some light holding spray and then do the “hair flip”. You finger comb those neat curls out and flip your hair to and fro in order to achieve the perfect bouncy do.

Photographer: John Ricard

Stylist: Brendan Dowling

Model: Lauren Casaranova

February 3, 2016 0

Jonas, No Brothers.

As much as I am not a fan of Winter and the cold weather, I must admit that I love a snow day. We just survived Winter Storm Jonas here in NYC and it’s nice to have the whole city on slow. New York is so fast moving and 24 hour driven so it is a rare treat to walk in the middle of the street with no cars and little to no people. You tune into the local channel and the newscasters keep you up to date on the path of the storm and what are neighbors are doing in the different boroughs. Once the storm is over, its time to climb out of the bed or the couch and find the shovels and salt and get to digging. On my block, and all over the city it seems, neighbors come out and help each other clear sidewalks, car tires and slippery steps. Children do their best to track snow back into all of the spots that you’ve cleared with their running and sledding up and down the block.

As much as I enjoyed the weekend storm, I hope for plenty of sun this week to clear the messy, slushie snow and the only Jonas I want to hear from again are the ones that are brothers.

Tamara

Here is our Jonas adventure. Shot by our resident photographer @johnricard

Brooklyn is beautiful, even in a storm.

How was your storm adventure?

January 25, 2016 0

I Need to Feel Like Kanye.

I’ve been living in my black high waist H&M jeans. I added a rip in both knees because it looks cool. I know older people who ask me all the time if I really pay for clothing with rips and tears ALREADY in them. It’s an old folk joke and it gets me every time. I’m a fan of holes and worn out looking clothing. I won’t pay an exorbitant amount for it though. That would just be silly. It makes me feel very rock-star, very hip when there is a hole or two in my outfit. I need to feel like Kanye when my 9 to 5 and mom days become overwhelming.

2014-12-17 16.52.15 — When in doubt, opt for denim and a classic white shirt. You can never go wrong.

blackjeansknee — The black and camel coat and nude sandals are perfectly paired.

2014-12-17 17.04.20 — I know it’s cold and a leather jacket may not be enough but nothing looks cooler with ripped jeans than leather.

2014-12-17 17.03.23 — Greys and blacks are no fail. This faux leather sac is perfect for slinging on your back, leaving your hands free for browsing the racks or hold your little ones hand when walking.

What key pieces have you been living in for the past few months?

January 21, 2016 0

The Art of Living. Have You Mastered It?

I believe, like many things surrounding us, living is an art. You cultivate, nurture and mold a “good” life. Now, the “good” life differs for many of us. For one person it can mean rolling in dough (not the Pillsbury kind), for another it can be marriage and children and for another it can be just living worry or stress free. We can keep going but there is no need. There is one thing that binds all of us who are seeking the “good” life. What is it you ask? It is that creating the “good” life is an art and in order to have it you must work for it. Will the work look the same for each of us? Nope. Absolutely not. The work will be very different and it is in those differing tasks that you cultivate, nurture and mold or make the life that you want.

Living life isn’t always easy. Heck, it is mostly a struggle of joy vs. sadness; health vs. sickness; wealth vs. poverty. You get the picture. It is those struggles that we either take and create meaning from or lay defeated under it’s heavy burden. We all want to choose the former and not the latter but that’s easier said than done. Sometimes you want to curl up in defeat and despair, which I think is fine, but please make it temporary. Don’t master the art of living in despair and constantly dredging up a past that should stay just where it is…in the past. Live for today! Master living for today and you are steps closer to mastering the art of living.

How do you define “living”?

L1004488 — The beach is my happy place and I am trying the embrace the Atlantic Ocean. I’m really a Caribbean Sea type of girl.

L1004561 — My daughter personifies happiness. When she smiles, it is a mile wide smile. It is honest and true. Children, when nurtured, are masterful at living.

January 21, 2016 0